BAPHENDUKA inkomo edla yodwa abafelokazi abasebancane ngemuva kokushona kwabayeni, okudalwa izizathu eziningi okubalwa ukuthi kuye kusolwe bona ngokushona kwabayeni, ukusaba ukuthi bangase basolwe ngokuthi sebengenwe ngabafowabo bomyeni uma beqhubeka nokusondela kubo.
Laba bafelokazi abazibiza ngeYoung Widows Talk, bebehlangene eThekwini ngoMgqibelo, bedingida ngezinto ezithinta abafelokazi abashiywe amadoda besebancane, okuhlanganisa ukuthi umphakathi usuke ulindele ukuthi baziphathe kanjani, ukuthi uzikhulisa kanjani izingane usuwedwa, ukuthi usamukela kanjani isimo sakho esisha nodaba olunzima lokuthi ungaqoma nini nokuthi ngabe yinto okumele uyenze yini leyo nemiphumela yayo.
UNkk Mamatu Joyisa onezinyanga eziyisithupha eshonelwe umyeni wakhe, okunguyena obehlele lesi sigcawu, uthe: "Indaba iqala nje ngokuthi abafelokazi bahlale besolwa ngokubulala amadoda. Kwabanye, leyo nkulumo iqala umyeni esagula. Uma engagulanga kuba nzima kakhulu. Kungcwatshwa nje, umakoti usuke engasabhekani nabasemzini.
Uthe kusuke kumele uqaphele indlela okhuluma ngayo nabafowabo bomyeni wakho, ungasondeli kakhulu kubo noma ngabe bewujwayele ukucela usizo kubo umyeni wakho esakhona ngoba kuzokudalela amazinyo abushelelezi kumakhosikazi abo.
UNkk Baby Mkhabela owashonelwa umyeni ngo-1995 eneminyaka engaphansi kuka-30, uthi kwesinye isikhathi umfelokazi uze akhumule inzilo engakaze abe naso isikhathi sokukhala nesokuzila, exabana nabasemzini kubangwa ifa.
"Lesi sigcawu sizosisiza ekutheni sikhulume ngokukhululeka ngoba sonke siyefana. Abanakwenu, abangani bakho, abazalwane basuke bekhona bekweseka kodwa iqiniso ukuthi bona basuke bengashonelwe amadoda, kukhona abasuke bengakuqondi. Kunzima ukukhuluma uvuleleke ngakho. Esigcawini esinjengalesi uma ngithi nginesizungu, ngikhuluma nomuntu owaziyo ukuthi ngikhuluma ngani. Ongeke angibuke ngeso lokuthi ngihlulwa inyama ngoba uyazi ukuthi kunjani ukuthenga ithuluzi locansi kwesinye isikhathi kungayilethi injabulo ephelele ngoba ngisuke nginesikhala sokuthi udinga ukuxoxa nomuntu okuyinto esuke ingeke isenzeka ngoba lowo muntu akasiye umyeni wakho, awukwazi ukumxoxela ngezinye izingqinamba zesimo obhekene naso,“ kusho uNkk Mkhabela.
UNkk Phili Mfeka oneminyaka emithathu eshonelwe umyeni, uthe kuyenzeka impi nabasemzini iholele ekutheni umfelokazi ashiye konke akusebenzele nomyeni wakhe, aqale phansi athenge umuzi ukuze abe nokuthula, okuba nomthelela omubi uma enezingane.