Uma uhlukene nobaba wengane...
UKUNGAKHULUMI kabi ngoyise wezingane osuhlukene naye kuyawethula umthwalo kowesifazane osele nezingane. UNksz Palesa Kwitshana uthi lokhu kungenye yezinto azibeke eqhulwini njengoba ezikhulisela amadodana akhe amabili, uSolami noLulama nendodakazi yakhe uNelisa UKUNGAKHULUMI kabi ngoyise wezingane osuhlukene naye kuyawethula umthwalo kowesifazane osele nezingane. UNksz Palesa Kwitshana uthi lokhu kungenye yezinto azibeke eqhulwini njengoba ezikhulisela amadodana akhe amabili, uSolami noLulama nendodakazi yakhe uNelisa
UKUHLUKANA noyise wengane kuyinto cishe wonke umuntu wesifazane angayifisi empilweni kodwa ngenxa yezimo lokhu kwenzeka mihla namalanga.
Lokhu kwenzeka ngisho abantu sebeshade iminyaka, ligqabuke igoda. Ngokujwayelekile izingane zigcina konina, kwenzeke abanye bagcine bezikhulisela ngabodwana.
Isikhathi esiningi abesifazane ababhekana nalezi zinkinga bayakhohlwa yimpilo yabo nokuzinakekela bona, bagxile ekukhuliseni izingane. Baze basho nokusho ukuthi izingane zabo baphilela zona, ziyikho konke.
Bazama ngayo yonke indlela ukuvala isikhala sikababa, befuna ukuba wumama nobaba.
Ongoti bathi isizathu esenza abesifazane babe manqika ukuqhubeka nempilo, yingenxa yovalo lokuthi kungase kwenzeke okufana nse nokubakhiphe ebudlelwaneni abasuka kubo.
Ongoti bathi akumele kuthi uma uhlukana noyise wengane, bese uphilela izingane kuphela, ungabe usenza lutho oluthokozisa wena uqobo, ingasaphathwa ke eyokuqhubekela phambili nempilo.
UDkt Manqoba Myeni oyiClinical Psychologist, uthi yize besakuthola kunzima ukuqala kabusha kodwa bakhona abalwa nalesi sihlava.
“Kuqala ngaphakathi kumuntu, kumele uxole udlule ezintweni ezindala ukuze uqale kabusha.
“Akumele utatazele, kumele uqale uthole izinto ezijabulisa wena ngaphandle kokucabanga kakhulu ngabanye abantu.
“Thola nendlela yokuqala kabusha nabangani nezihlobo, ngoba nomndeni womuntu obuthandana naye ubudlelwane busuke bungasafani,” kusho uDkt Myeni.
UNdoni Radebe owaduma kwiVuma FM osengumethuli weChoral Sound kwiSoweto TV, ungomunye wabesifazane abasungule izinhlangano zokulekelela abesifazane abahlukene noyise bezingane, baqhubeke nempilo.
UNdoni usungule neSingle Parents Seminar okuyizigcawu okukhulunywa kuzo kabanzi nabazali abazikhulisela izingane ngabodwana, iphinde ibafundise nokuthi bangasenza kanjani isikhathi sabo esithi bona.
UNdoni onamadodana amabili eno-19 neno-13, uveze ukuthi selokhu aba khona, uyazikhulisela kodwa akukho
angakwazi ukukwenza akufisayo.
“Impilo iyaqhubeka ngaphandle kukababa wengane kodwa kudinga umuntu akhumbule ukuthi ubekwazi ukuphila phambilini engekho uyise wengane.
“Kuqala kube nzima ngoba kusuke sekukhona izingane okumele ubeke zona phambili ngezidingo. Uma seninendlela eniphila ngayo nezingane, qala ubheke izinto ezijabulisa wena.
“Zinike isikhathi sokungabi nezingane nazo zibone ukuthi kunezinye izinto okumele uzenze eceleni,” kusho uNdoni.
Eqhuba uthe indaba yokukhulisa izingane ihamba ngezigaba
ngoba kukhona nezinto ezigcina zifundwa umzali ngempilo.
Uthe lokhu akwenzeki ngesikhathi esinqunyiwe empilweni kodwa zonke izinsuku kunokusha umzali okumele akufunde ukuze noma eqhubeka nempilo kungabi nezihibe.
UNdoni unanekhasi kuFacebook eligxile kulesi sihloko elibizwa ngeSingle Parents Diaries.
Omunye wabesifazane ophumelele empilweni kodwa ozikhulisela izingane zakhe yedwa, uPalesa Kwitshana weSA Fashion Institute.
UPalesa onamadodana amabili nendodakazi eyodwa uthi ukwamukela ukuthi umshado wakhe nobudlelwano bezothando kuphelile phakathi kwakhe noyise wezingane, kwamsiza.
Uveze ukuthi lokhu kwamenza wakwazi ukuhlukanisela nezingane zakhe, wazakhela isithombe esihle ngoyise yize sebahlukana.
“Ukuncoma into enhle eziyenzelwe uyise izingane zakho nakho kuyasiza. Ukuba nesikhathi esihleliwe sokushintshana ngezingane nakho kwenza kube lula impilo.
“Ngiyazithanda izingane zami futhi ngiyazinakekela kodwa angilenzi iphutha lokungasenzi esami isikhathi.
“Noma ngibeka izidingo zabo phambili kodwa ngiyakwazi ukwenza izinto engizithandayo nabangani bami,” kusho uPalesa.