UKUSHONELWA yingane isanda kuzalwa, yinto ehlale yenzeka kwabesifazane abaningi, kodwa bambalwa abathola usizo nokwesekwa okwanele ukuze bakwazi ukuqhubeka kahle nempilo yabo.
Ziningi nezinto ezenziwayo uma owesifazane ezothola umntwana, njengokubikwa kwesisu kubo kayise wengane, ukwenziwa kwebaby shower, ukuyetha amagama, ukuyibheka ubulili kanjalo nokuthengwa kwezimpahla nokulungiselela kabusha igumbi ezolala kulo nonina.
Abantu abasekhaya nabo basuke sebelindele izindaba ezimnandi zokuzwa ukuthi usebelethile esibhedlela unina wengane. Kodwa kwabanye abantu besifazane kuba yizindaba ezimbi zokuthi ingane ishonile esayibeletha noma engakabelethi unina.
Lokhu akukhethi bala,kwenzeka ngendlela efanayo kwizimpunyela, osaziwayo, abantu abasemazingeni aphansi ngisho nakubahlengikazi nodokotela besifazane.
UNtombi Ngcobo ongumculi, umethuli wezinhlelo zethelevishini nomsakazi ungomunye wosaziwayo abake babhekana nalesi simo. Emuva kokushonelwa yindodana wezwa ubuhlungu obungapholi kalula kwaze kwaba uthola usizo ekhaya nakongoti. Uthe yingakho waqala nenhlangano ebizwa ngeMother's of Angel lapho kuhlangana khona abesifazane abashonelwe yizingane bakhulume ngezimo zabo nongoti abahlukene.
Owesifazane owashonelwa ingane ngo-2001 utshele leli phephandaba ukuthi kwakungelula ukwamukela kwaze kwaba uthola indodana eminyakeni emibili eyedlule.
Yize engakhohliwe yingane yakhe yokuqala kodwa uthe akusefani, usethanda ukuxola njengoba eseze waba nomunye umntwana.
"Kujwayelekile emakhaya ukuthi umuntu uma eshonelwe ingane kube yinto edlulayo ngoba nomngcwabo wenziwa ngakusasa. Into ebhekwa abakusiza ngayo ukuthi bakugeze. Akekho umuntu ozikhathazayo ngokukubuza ukuthi kuyaba yini ngcono. Ngibona sekungcono manje ngoba esibhedlela uyabuzwa ukuthi uyalufuna yini usizo bakululeke. Mina kwakuba buhlungu njalo uma kukhona onengane encane ekhaya noma uma ungibona eyomuntu engangixukuza naye," kusho lo wesifazane.
Ungoti wezempilo kumkhakha weSociology eBoston University, uDeborah Carr, uke waveza kulo nyaka kwiwebsite yeFatherly ukuthi nakobaba kusuke kuzwela benengcindezi ngokomqondo nokhwantalala.
UDeborah uthi nanoma yimuphi umuntu wesilisa kuyamkhathaza ukushonelwa yingane ngoba emqondweni wakhe usuke ezilungiselele ukuyinakekela ayivikele. Ukushona kwengane kwenza owesilisa azibeke icala noma azisole ngezinto engabe uzenzile ukushintsha isimo.
Okungakusiza ukudlulisa
-Ukubonana nongoti abeluleka imindeni abazokwazi ukukulekelela ukudlula kulesi simo.
-Hlangana nabanye abantu abake babhekana nesimo esifanayo nabazokwazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani.
-Ungajahi ukuthola omunye umntwana ukuvala isikhala noma ungasondelani nengane yomunye umuntu ukuvala isikhala seyakho.
-Qhubeka wenze izinto ezikujabulisayo nenhliziyo izoya ngokwamukela futhi ukhumbule nobumnandi bempilo.
-Khuluma nophathina wakho ngendlela ozizwa ngayo nithole usizo kuze kube niyahlela ukuthola omunye umntwana.