ABESIFAZANE bazizwa bekhethekile uma isoka lihlaba ngedolo phansi licela umshado ngendlela yokuthi bavele balethe isandla, kube wukuvuma njalo
ABESIFAZANE bazizwa bekhethekile uma isoka lihlaba ngedolo phansi licela umshado ngendlela yokuthi bavele balethe isandla, kube wukuvuma njalo
UKUVEZELA  umhlaba wonke ukuthi usuzoshada usufake neringi njengoba behlale benza osaziwayo okukhona kubo noPearl Modiadie owaveza ukuthi isithandwa sakhe simcele kanjani umshado, noPearl Thusi egabisa ngeringi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, bayakuhlaba ongoti bezobudlelwane
UKUVEZELA umhlaba wonke ukuthi usuzoshada usufake neringi njengoba behlale benza osaziwayo okukhona kubo noPearl Modiadie owaveza ukuthi isithandwa sakhe simcele kanjani umshado, noPearl Thusi egabisa ngeringi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, bayakuhlaba ongoti bezobudlelwane
NIZIHLALELE nesoka lakho nidla isidlo sakusihlwa, ungazelele, livele lihlaba ngedolo phansi livula ibhokisi eneringi ebenyezelayo likubheka emehlweni bese lithi: “Ngicela ungenze indoda emadodeni ...ushade nami”.

Wenze njani? ukhala izinyembezi zenjabulo uhlale kulo izithonto ulibambe bese ulinikeza umunwe weringi uthi YEBO?

Lokhu kuzwakala njengendaba ezoyizayo yothando. Mhlawumbe futhi usuke wayibona nakuthelevishini.

Bambalwa abesifazane uma bekhona okungathi sekuvulwe iringi beyibona ibenyezela, nesoka liguqe phansi ngedolo lifake imbali emlonyeni, bathi CHA.

Kodwa ongoti kwezobudlelwano bathi empeleni ukwamukela umshado akuyona into okumele uyivume nje kanjalo. Kumele uyicabangisise ngoba uma usuvumile, kuzoba nzima ukuphinde uthi cha kothandiweyo wakho. Phela ukufakwa iringi noma ukucelwa umshado kwenza owesifazane azizwe ekhethekile futhi ethandiwe.

“Ukufakwa iringi yesethembiso somshado akuyona into okumele uyithathe kancane. Usuke uvuma ukuthi uyazibophezela ukuthi uzoshada naleyo ndoda. Leyo ringi isho nokuthi uyamukela injalo leyo ndoda,” kusho uNksz Fikile Njabha wenhlangano ebhekele ezithinta imindeni, iFamsa.

Uthi abesifazane akumele bavaleke amehlo uma kwenzeke babhekana nalo mbuzo.

“Kuyiqiniso ukuthi lowo mbuzo usuke uhambisana nezinto eziningi indoda ehlale phansi yazicabanga, wena bese uthi yebo ngomzuzu nje ekucelile,” usho kanje.

Ne-website ekhuluma ngezothando, iwww.familyshare.com, uGeorgia Lee naye owungoti wezobudlelwano uthi bakhona abesilisa abangamaqili abalutha abesifazane ngeringi yesethembiso kanti bayizimbungulu uqobo.

Uma enza isibonelo uthi indoda engasebenzi wena usebenza, ingabenza ubuqili bokuzisondeza kakhulu kuwena ngokukucela umshado yikhona uzoyondla ngoba ucabanga ukuthi izokushada.

Ngokongoti, ukucela umshado ngale ndlela yinto eyaqhamuka esikweni lasentshonalanga. Nakhona abacela umshado basuke bengalindele ukuthi owesifazane uzovuma, basuke belindele noma yini. Yingakho nje beyaye bazame ukunxenxa owesifazane ngokumluthela endaweni enezimbali, enhle bakhiphe nobhozo ngeringi yedayimane.

“Kodwa sengike ngibone kithina abamnyama, abesifazane bavele bavume nje begajwe yinjabulo yesenzo sendoda,” kusho uNksz Njapha.

Uthi ngokwasentshonalanga, uma sewamukele iringi, usuke usuzoshada maduze kwazise bona abaloboli.

Naye lowo okucela umshado usuke kwesinye isikhathi esehlelile ukuthi ufuna ukushada nini.

Yingakho ethi abesifazane kumele ngaphambi kokuthi bavume iringi emunweni, baziqonde izinhloso zesoka, umuntu angagqoki iringi yesethembiso kuze kuguge isandla kungashadwa.

Ongoti bathi owesifazane kumele athi CHA kulo mbuzo uma:

Nixabene

* Uma nixabene wase utshela isoka lakho ukuthi kuphelile phakathi kwalo nawe, bese lithushuka nalo mbuzo neringi, kumele ungalutheki ngempela. Qinisekisa ukuthi leso sethembiso akusona ‘ isixoliso’. Maningi amadoda avala izithandwa ngokuzicelela umshado ngoba efuna ukuthi lala lulaza, bazi kahle ukuthi ngeke kube khona mshado. Uma nixabene, noma ubusufuna ukumala, ungayamukeli iringi. Lungisani izinkinga zenu kuqala. Izinkinga zenu ngeke zixazululwe wukuthi usufake iringi emunweni.

Alisebenzi

* Noma kungashiwo ukuthi owesilisa ongasebenzi kumele angathandwa kodwa qaphela ubhekisise owesilisa angakuceli umshado kanti ufaka isicelo sokuthi umondle egameni lokuthi nizoshada.

Nakhu okunye okumele ukuqaphele ngaphambi kokuthi YEBO eringini yesethembiso:

Wena uyafuna yini ukushada nale ndoda ekufuna umshado

* Vuma kuphela uma nawe leyo ndoda uyibona ikufanele ukushada nawe.

Akulona ihlazo ukuthi ucele isithandwa sakho ukuthi sikunike ithutshana ucabange ukuthi uyafuna yini ukwamukela isethembiso.

Buza ukuthi isoka lakho lihlela ukuthi nishade nini. Ngaleyo ndlela uzobona ukuthi ngempela isoka lakho lifuna nishade hhayi nje ukukubekisa ukuze ungabheki engxenye.

Ukulinda umlibe ngemuva kwesethembiso kungakubambezela ezintweni eziningi empilweni.

Yize ongoti bethi ayikho imibandela ebekelwe uthando kodwa abakugqugquzeli ukwamukela umshado kumuntu osamaze isikhathi esingaphansi kwezinyanga eziwu-18.

Uma usuvumile ukuthi uzoshada nesoka lakho, ongoti bavumelana ngokuthi kumele ungajahi ukutshela izwe. Bayakuhlaba nokwazisa abantu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ngokuthi usuzoshada.

“Ngaphambi kokuveza umunwe oneringi ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, zibuze ukuthi uma ungasayifaki izinto zingasahambi kahle, uzimisele yini ukuphendulana nemibuzo yabo,” kugcizelela uNksz Njabha.

* Olunye ulwazi lucashunwe ku-www.sankz.com naku-www.familyshare.com.