UMA usanda kushonelwa wumyeni, kumele ungagagameli uma usufuna ukuqoma. Kumele ulinde ubhekisise kahle ngoba maningi amankentshane angafune thando, kodwa agebhele ezinye izinto.
Basho kanje abesifazane abangabafelokazi abasebancane ngaphansi kwenhlangano esungulwe uNkk Nomonde Ndovela, iYoung Women Talk. Ngale nhlangano kuhloswe ukunika abesifazane inkundla yokuxoxa kabanzi ngezinselelo ababhekana nazo njengabesifazane abashonelwa abayeni besebancane.
UNkk Ndovela uthe indlela abashelwa ngayo ngabesilisa abasebancane, nabo iyabamangaza. Uthe baze babangenele nasezinkundleni zokuxhumana bebancenga befuna uthando.
"Esikhathini samanje uma ushonelwe yindoda, akubi into eyaziwa ngabathile, igcwala nasezinkundleni zezokuxhumana. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba nguye umuntu wesifazane obhalayo ekhala. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba ngabasondelene naye abamduduzayo. Abasuke bekwenza lokhu basuke bengakwenzeli izesheli, kodwa izesheli zigcina zazi kanjalo,“ kusho uNkk Ndovela.
UNkk Ndovela uthe le nqwaba yezesheli isuke ingalethwa wuthando kodwa yinkolelo yokuthi owesifazane oshonelwe yindoda usuke enezindodla zemali.
Omunye umfelokazi uNkk Baby Mkhabela, uthe uma ungumfekokazi uhlale ubonakala njengensengakwazi enensavunsavu yemali, ngisho nasemndenini kuba nabantu abaningi abafika bezoboleka imali.
" Uma ungumfelokazi kumele ungagagameli uma usufuna ukuqoma. Yebo asikho isikhathi esibekiwe sokuthi ungaqoma nini, kuya ngawe kodwa kumele ubhekisise ngoba ziningi izinto okusuke kumele uzibheke. Kuhlanganisa nokuthi unezingane okusamele ube isibonelo esihle kuzo,“ kusho uNkk Mkhabela.
Uthe akumele owesifazane agcine echuthwa owesilisa omshele evele elandela ibhodwe eliconsayo, kugcine kuhlupheka izingane.
Uqhube wathi isimo somfelokazi asifani nokuba yintombi engavele iqome noma inini uma ithanda, ngoba kunesithunzi sokuba umama okusamele asigcine.
UNkk Thembeka Msomi, ongumfelokazi, uthe akubona abantu bangaphandle abasuke bebheke imali kumfelokazi nabakhona emndenini bayakwenza lokho.
"Umfelokazi okwaziwayo ukuthi akashiywanga nemali futhi akasebenzi, akuvamile ukuthi uzwe kuthiwa ungeniwe kodwa uma enemali, baningi abaziphonsa kuye befuna imali. Akuwona amadoda kuphela ahlale ecuthele imali kubafelokazi kodwa nabesifazane baningi abashaya ucingo becela ukubolekwa imali,“ kusho yena.
UMnuz Siboniso Mtshali owungoti wokusetshenziswa kwezobuchwepheshe, ongumsunguli wenkampani edayisa izinto zobuchwepheshe i-Afronicdata, uthe ngokuvamile akuzona izinto abafelokazi abazibhalayo eziheha abafana abancane kodwa abafana abancane baphume umkhankaso wokufuna abesifazane abakhulile kunabo ngoba bazi ukuthi banezinto ezifana nemizi nezimoto.
“Abafana abancane bathanda impilo entofontofo ingakho becuthela abesifazane abakhulile. Ngendlela isimo esibi ngakhona, sekukhona namakhasi abafundisayo ukuthi babathola kanjani abantu abanemali khona la ezinkundleni zokuxhumana. Lama khasi ayabaqeqesha ngokuthi umbona kanjani umuntu wesifazane onemali. Iziphi izindawo abajwayele ukuzivakashela. Uma engenayo indoda futhi umbona kanjani. Uma usumbonile ukhuluma kanjani naye ukuze athambe. Abafelokazi kusuke kwaziwa ukuthi bathole imali yemishwalensi ngabayeni babo, imali yempesheni, amabhizinisi nokunye okusuke kuzokwenza othandana naye aphile kahle. Ingakho abafana abancane besondela kakhulu kubo ,” kusho yena.
Uthe umthetho ovikela imininingwane yomuntu ukhona kuleli kodwa okufakayo ezinkundlenii zokuxhumana kuyashiwo ukuthi omunye umuntu uzokwazi ukukuthola, ngakho kumele uqaphele ukuthi awufaki izinombolo zamaselula okungenani ungafaka i-email.
“Umuntu okubhalela ngasese ekhasini lakho uzikhethela wena ukuthi uyamphendula noma cha,” kusho uMtshali.