SELIPHINDE labuya lelo dimoni lokubulawa kwabesifazane nezingane. Sesiphinde sabuyela kulesi sikhathi lapho owesifazane ethuka izanya uma ebona owesilisa ngoba akazi uphezu kwaziphi izinhloso.
Yileso sikhathi lapho wesaba ngisho ukuthuma esitolo ingane yentombazane okungenzeka ibuye iyisidumbu. Abesifazane besaba nokuvuka ekuseni bayozivocavoca emgwaqweni ngoba kungenzeka balandelwe, babulawe.
Njengomuntu onentshisekelo yezindaba ezithinta abesifazane, ngizithole ngizenzela inhlolovo, ngayithumela kwabesilisa nabesifazane ukuzwa ukuthi bacabangani ngalesi sihlava. Emibuzweni yami bengifuna ukwazi ukuthi banamiphi imibono nokuthi babona konakelephi.
Kungiphathe kabi ukuthi, indlela abantu abacikeke ngayo, sebefuna kubuye ngisho isigwebo sentambo. Kule nhlolovo ngithole isithombe sokuthi abesifazane babesaba ukwedlula izilwane abesilisa.
Kuyangithunuka ukubona kusekhona abesilisa abazivikelayo basho nezizathu ezenza kubulawe abesifazane. Lokhu kwenza ngibone ukuthi kusekude ukuthi sinqobe. Indlela igama labesilisa eselihudululeke ngayo phansi sekumele bazithobe, baguqe bavume izono.
Lesi yisikhathi sokuthi baxolise baze bashwelezele ngisho abanye abathinteka kulezi zigameko. Kungiphathe kabi kwinhlolovo yami ukuthi abaningi bathi emabandleni abakuwo ayikhulunywa eyokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane.
Alukho uhlaka okumele luwuhlabe inhlali manje ngendlela osekonakele ngayo. Kumele ngabe kuzo zonke izinkundla okuhlangana kuzo abesilisa, kuqiniswa ekukhuzeni lo mhlola. Amabandla nawo awekho msulwa uma kukhulunywa ngokuhlukunyezwa kwabesifazane.
Inkolo nesiko kunesandla njengoba kumanje baningi abahleli emishadweni “engekho”, abayibambe ishisa. Emabandleni abesifazane uma befuna ukuphonsa ithawula, bashaywa ngevesi elithi “owesifazane ongayakhi indlu yakhe, uyayibhidliza ngezakhe izandla”.
Abantu baphume ngamabhokisi emishadweni yabo bebambelele ekutheni kuyabekezelwa. Okungiphula umoya wukuthi ezithangamini, eziye zihlelwe ukwakha nokweluleka abantu kwezobudlewano, bayingcosana abesilisa abazihluphayo. Nalabo abanogqozi yilabo vele abaqotho. Ontabakayikhonjwa abayingeni ngoba bazi ukuthi bangongqeqhe futhi ngeke batshelwe ukuthi baziphathe kanjani. Abanye banqabela ngisho abathandana nabo ukuthi baye kulezi zithangami ngoba bebona ukuthi bazovuleka amehlo.
Ngibona sekukuncane okungenzeka kwabesilisa asebekhulile, osekumele kuqiniswe ebafaneni. Uma uzele ingane yomfana unenselelo yokuyiguqula indlela ecabanga ngayo. Lokhu kumele kuqale ngezinto ezincane zokukhipha umqondo wokuthi umfana ungcono kunentombazane.
Kumele kushintshe ukuthi umfana abuye sekuhwalele ekhaya, angathinti lutho endlini ngoba kuthiwa akusebenze intombazane. Ingane yomfana ayitshelwe ukuthi kuyimvelo ukuzwela ubuhlungu futhi akulona ihlazo ukukhala, ukuze kuphume intukuthelo.
Okonakele kakhulu yindlela esikhuliswe ngayo, ikakhulukazi thina sizwe esimnyama. Abafana bamanje kumele batshelwe ukuthi itshe seligaya ngomunye umhlathi.
Kumele bazi ukuthi abesifazane bamanje nabo sebesebenza amahora afanayo nabesilisa. Kumele bazi ukuthi akusefani nakudala lapho umama ebelethwa emshadweni ukuzovusa umuzi ngokulamanisa izingane kuphela, ubaba abuye kanye ngonyaka esezolamanisa futhi.
Inkinga enkulu wukuthi ngesikhathi kushintsha indlela yokuphila kuleli, abesilisa abacijwanga emqondweni ukuthi nabo bashintshe indlela yokucabanga.
Elokugcina, kumele ibhekwe nalena yokubhekela kakhulu amantombazane ukuthi ayiyitshali yini inzondo ebafaneni.
Ngesikhathi izwe likhululeka kuqhakanjiswe ukubhekela abesifazane, bashiywa ngemuva abafana. Yize yaziwa inhloso yalokhu kodwa sekumele
ibuyekezwe.
Uma umfana ephase ngo-A abayisithupha, kubhekelwa intombazane ephase ngokufana noma ngaphansi kunaye uma kutholwa umfundaze. Ngokunjalo nasemsebenzini kubhekwa kuqala ukuqashwa kwabesifazane, okwenza kutshaleke inzondo emfaneni owayengekho ngezikhathi zobandlululo, osethwala amacala okhokho. Kusamele sizinuke amakhwapha kokuningi, ngale kwalokho sizokhuluma kuze kutsheke imilomo.